Youth Council Ambassadors presents:

10 WAYS

to support a friend’s mental health

A guidebook FOR teens BY teens

Youth Council Ambassadors is a program of Youth Employment Service and the Ithaca Youth Bureau

Table of Contents

Intersectionality

and

mental health

What is Intersectionality?

The study of overlapping or intersecting social identities and related systems of oppression, domination, or discrimination. The identities we hold and the ways they interact directly impact our mental health.

Why intersectionality makes it harder to get mental health help:

Some BIPOC communities view mental health as stigmatized due to medical neglect and are less likely to receive help than white people.

Additionally, structural racism can impact a person’s access to care and how validated their concerns are when they do reach out. Learn more about intersectionality and mental health here:

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Take care of YOURSELF first

Your own mental health is important.

• Make sure your daily habits are impacting your mental and physical health in a positive way
  

How do we practice maintaining good mental health?

• Basic needs like food, shelter, sleep, and healthcare are important for your mental health
  
• Activities that make you happy are beneficial to your body and mind
  
• Eating well and drinking plenty of water is important because physical and mental health are connected
  

Taking care of your own mental health makes you have a happier and healthier life. It also makes you more able to support others.

Remember to practice healthy boundaries!

You are not responsible OR qualified to resolve your friends’ mental health issues. What you can do is offer support and help connect them to professionals and other resources.

Spend time together

Having friendships and close relationships is strongly connected to mental health benefits. It lowers levels of anxiety and depression, and increases self-esteem and empathy.

Being together with friends, even if you aren’t doing anything in particular, can make a person feel less lonely.

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Normalize talking about

mental health

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Talking about mental health decreases the stigma and increases the chance someone will reach out for help if they need it. If a friend is talking to you about their mental health it is important to be a good and respectful listener.

Tips for being a good listener:

• Be patient, considerate, and understanding
• Validate their feelings
  
• Let them know they matter
  
• Ask questions and follow up with them
  

Talking and listening to your friends gives them the space and support they need to talk about their mental health.

Be a trustworthy friend

Involvement in trusting friendships help people feel safe and valued. What you say and do can have a big impact on your friends and can matter more than you realize. Here are some tips on how to be a trustworthy friend:

• Be honest and consistent with your friends
  

• Keep your word, be reliable and keep your promises
  

• In general, it is unkind to gossip. It is especially cruel to gossip or spread personal information about your friend’s mental health

NOTE: If you fear for you’re friend’s safety or think they will harm themselves or others, tell a safe adult (see page 9). Your friend might not appreciate in the moment, but it could be the thing that gets them the help they need.

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Pay attention to subtle signs

Not everyone is open to talking about their own mental health. It’s important to keep an eye out for subtle signs.

What to look for: mood swings, appetite changes, irritable behavior, disrupted sleep, etc

If someone you care about is showing these signs, make sure to check in on their basic needs: sleep, food and water, physical health, shelter etc

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Involve safe adults

If you feel that your friend is in danger, involving an adult who ​they can trust, speak to, and confide in is essential. For ​example: teachers, school counselors, coaches, parents, and ​family members.

• Note: be mindful that safe adults can vary between ​people and their experiences. Try to find the best fit for ​the person you are trying to help!
  

Consulting mental health professionals such as therapists, ​psychologists, and social workers can also be a good place to ​begin.

You can walk with your friend to the school counselor’s office, or sit with them while they make a phone call to a mental health hotline*. This will show them that you support them and care about them getting help.

(*See resources starting on page 14)

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Ask directly if you suspect

they are considering suicide

If you are worried that someone you know might be thinking about suicide, it is best to ask them directly.

Asking directly can sound like:

• “Are you thinking about suicide?”
  
• “Do you have a plan to kill yourself?”

It’s common to think that asking someone about suicide will put the idea in their head. However, this is not true. Asking directly can give you the information you need to find them the right kind of help and lets them know you care about their safety.

See pages 14 and 15 for more mental health crisis resources

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Safety Check-In Tips

Steps to take:

1. Be ready to provide resources or get adult help involved.
2. Pick a safe space, quiet or private from others. Be gentle and calm, but serious.
   
3. Express to them your concern for them.
   
4. Ask them what they need and help if you can.
   
5. Let them know that you may have to get a trusted adult involved
6. Know that conversations may be triggering

Conversation Starters

• “Would you like me to bring you to seek help/I would like to help you seek help.”
  
• “Is there anything you would like to talk about?”
  

Go to page 17 for more information

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Follow Up

Ensure they got help and offer ongoing support

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Caring about someone isn’t a one time action, it takes time for people to heal. You can’t offer professional mental health care but you can be a bridge to them getting the help they need.

This can look like:

• Going with them to a counselor or therapist
• Check in to see if they are getting the help they need
  
• Let them know that you care
• Connect them with resources
• Encourage them to talk to other trusted people
  

Understand how media and screen time affects mental health

• Increased hours of screen time is linked to higher levels of anxiety and depression
• Scrolling on your phone before bed can interfere with your sleep. Instead, wind down by reading a book, stretching or journaling.
• When you use your phone to zone out and escape reality, a dependency can form. You can actually be addicted to your phone!
• Do not compare yourself with influencers. Remember that images online are often edited, and the things that people post don’t necessarily reflect real life.
• If you or someone you know is being bullied online, please tell a trusted adult. NYS laws prohibit cyberbullying. Help is available.

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Crisis Control: Who and why to call

A mental health crisis is defined as “any situation in which a person's behavior puts them at risk of hurting themselves or others and/or prevents them from being able to care for themselves or function effectively in the community.”

-National Alliance on Mental Illness [NAMI]

If you or a friend you know is struggling with depression, mental health, substance abuse, or sexual abuse there are crisis services you can use.

Call 988

988 is like 911 for mental health. Dialing 988 on any phone will connect you to a mental health professional. You can talk anonymously and confidentially to people who can help.

If you are worried about a friend who you think is experiencing a mental health crisis and you aren't sure how to help, CALL 988! They will ask you about the situation and guide you with what to do next.

988 helps provide support in crisis and connects people to

therapy or mental health resources, too.

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Additional Crisis and Non-Crisis Resources

The Trevor Project

Call 1-866-488-7386 or text 678-678

24/7/365 crisis services, advocacy, peer support, public education, and research programs to help ensure that all LGBTQ young people have supportive adults in their lives

Chat online at thetrevorproject.org,

National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI)

NAMI.org

NAMI provides mental health resources to kids, teens, adults, families, schools and other organizations. They offer mental health education services, support groups, and can help individuals with their own mental health journey.

Tompkins County Warmline: 607-277-7337

This is a local hotline for non–crisis peer support

If you or a friend are in immediate danger, call 911.

Scan for more Tompkins County Mental Health Resources:

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Local RESOURCES

for basic needs

Unmet basic needs can be a major drain on mental health

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How to Talk about Mental Health

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Mental health professionals that are accessible to teens

• School Counselors: can assist with making plans for school work and be available to talk during school about any problems you may be having

• Teachers: can be an excellent resource to work on the relationship between school and mental health

• Therapists: may have more regular availability than a school counselor, have received more education in treating mental health issues

• School Nurse: can support your physical health needs

• Family Doctor: has the ability to do an in depth assessment, including the option for medication

Note: in some cases, these people may be required to make a report of certain information (e.g. suspicion of abuse, immediate danger to self or others, etc.). Talk with your trusted adults to learn when specific information needs to be shared with others.

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About

YCA

Youth Council Ambassadors is a group of local teens with a mission to listen and speak for youth of Tompkins County.

Each year, Ambassadors gather weekly to address local issues impacting teens in Ithaca and Tompkins County. We conduct surveys, research topics of our choice, create resources, and raise awareness.

This booklet is the result of our work around Youth Mental Health in our community.

Youth Council Ambassadors is part of Youth Employment Service (YES), which is a program of the Ithaca Youth Bureau

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The content of this booklet is for informational purposes only and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any condition or disease. You understand that this booklet is not intended as a substitute for consultation with a licensed practitioner. Please consult with your own physician or healthcare specialist regarding the suggestions and recommendations made in this booklet. The use of this booklet implies your acceptance of this disclaimer.